


Once and Future

by SkyFireForever



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bisexual Merlin (Merlin), F/F, F/M, Gay Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), M/M, Multi, Past Character Death, Polyamory, Post-Canon, Reincarnation, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:41:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24939232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkyFireForever/pseuds/SkyFireForever
Summary: Hundreds of years have passed and there has been no sign of Arthur. Merlin has lived these centuries alone for the most part, afraid of getting too close to anyone out of fear that he will one day lose them as well. Until one day, he sees a familiar face.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 18
Kudos: 60





	1. Once Upon a Time

Arthur Pendragon was dead. Arthur Pendragon had been dead for hundreds of years. Merlin had lived through those centuries without his best friend, his other half, his destiny. Without Arthur, his life felt hollow, meaningless, an empty void. It didn’t help that he’d learned of Gwaine’s death shortly after returning to Camelot. So he was left without both of his dearest friends. 

It wasn’t too bad at first. He’d served Queen Guinevere faithfully. He’d helped Gaius dutifully. But then, things started to change and Merlin realized that he was staying the same. Gaius was old and he withered away before Merlin’s very eyes. On the day of Gaius’ death, Merlin found himself horribly depressed and unable to find the will to do much of anything for weeks afterward. Even when he regained his will to live, nothing got much better. 

The next death was his mother’s. She too grew old and eventually faded away. As did everyone else. Sir Percival, Gwen, everyone aged and died. Everyone except for Merlin. The only other person who seemed to be trapped in an endless stage of stagnation was Sir Leon, but he eventually left Camelot in the search of his own destiny. And Merlin was left alone.

A part of him wanted to travel the world, wanted to see what there was to see. But he knew he couldn’t bring himself to do so. He needed to stay close by, needed to be there for Arthur’s return, whenever that might be. So he waited. 

And waited. 

And waited. 

Hundreds of years, he waited, living the lives of hundreds of different people. He changed his name and appearance periodically so as not to raise suspicion. Eventually, magic died out, King Arthur became merely a legend, and the true history of Camelot was forgotten. Merlin continued living. He didn’t go on daring adventures, didn’t risk life and limb to save the day, no. He lived the life of an ordinary man, did so hundreds of times. He played things safe, so as not to risk drawing attention to himself. He couldn’t risk being caught at this point, not when Arthur’s return could happen at any moment. 

After hundreds of years, Merlin changed his identity again. This time he became Merlin Emrys. It was a name so familiar to him. It felt so right. He changed his appearance from an old man to that of a young boy, perhaps eighteen. The same age he had been when he’d first arrived in Camelot. Not that it mattered. He was so much older than he appeared. He expected to live another uneventful life just waiting for his destiny to find him once again. He didn’t really expect for anything to change. At this point, he was mostly convinced that Arthur would never again return. That didn’t make him give up hope, however. 

He used his magic to forge documents of a family, a history, so that Merlin Emrys wouldn’t appear out of nowhere. He rented an apartment, applied for college, was accepted into a pre-med program, and began the life of Merlin Emrys. He expected to make a few friends, but wouldn’t dare to get too close. Getting close was too risky and led to too much heartbreak. 

Merlin was returning a few books to the library, placing them on the counter. “Yes, uh, I would like to return these,” he told the person behind the counter. He was an elderly man who appeared almost familiar, though Merlin couldn’t put his finger on why. Someone was standing in line behind him, so he turned around quickly, only to bump into the person and send their books sprawling. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry. I’m an idiot,” he said quickly, bending down to scoop up the books. 

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” said a familiar voice that sent a chill down Merlin’s spine. His head snapped up and his gaze fell upon familiar green eyes. He stared in disbelief and horror at the woman who collected her belongings. She tucked her dark hair behind her ear as she straightened up. Merlin slowly handed her books over to her without even realizing that he was doing it. “What’s your name?”

“It’s Merlin,” he told her without stopping to consider if that was wise. He blinked at her repeatedly. 

She smiled warmly and politely. “Well, it’s nice to meet you, Merlin. My name’s Morgana.” 


	2. Old Enemies

A week after Merlin had bumped into the young woman with the same name as his old friend turned enemy, Merlin was pacing in his room. What did this mean? How was this possible? He hadn’t been able to get her out of his head, no matter how desperately he tried. Was it just a coincidence that she shared Morgana’s name and face? Had Merlin forgotten what the original Morgana actually looked like and was imagining things when he heard the name? He didn’t know, couldn’t be sure. 

He wished that he had spoken to her more, wished that he hadn’t dashed out of the library soon after learning her name. But what was he supposed to have done? He felt as though he had seen a ghost. He felt rattled down to his very bones. He couldn’t force her eyes out of his head. 

After letting out a long sigh, he collapsed onto his bed, staring up at the ceiling. His mind was spinning and he was certain that he could feel the turn of the Earth right below him. It was all too much for him to bear. If Morgana  _ was  _ back, what did that mean for the rest of them? Could Arthur be about to return? Was this a sign that their need was greatest? Was Morgana simply pretending not to remember him? 

Merlin couldn’t just sit in his thoughts forever. He needed to get out, maybe visit Avalon, see if Arthur had returned when he wasn’t looking. He sat up and grabbed his bag before making his way out of his apartment. He walked down the stairs and started down the street before he caught a glimpse of someone familiar out of the corner of his eye. 

Morgana. There she was again. She was laughing with someone, smiling, her eyes bright. She appeared so much like the young woman Merlin had met when he had first arrived in Camelot. She appeared friendly, kind, compassionate. There was youth and hope behind her eyes, unlike the heart of stone that her eyes showed in her later years. Merlin maneuvered himself so he could see who she was talking to and once he did, his heart seized up in his chest and his eyes went wide. He felt anger and hatred boil in his veins. 

Mordred. He appeared a bit younger than when Merlin had last seen him, but not the little boy he had once known. He was smiling, laughing, and talking with Morgana, though Merlin couldn’t hear what he was saying. Merlin’s eyes darkened and he stared at the pair of them, his hands balling into fists by his sides. He hadn’t been able to stop them before. Maybe now was his chance to do so. Maybe the universe was telling him to strike them where they stood. 

Mordred’s head turned and he caught Merlin’s gaze upon him. The smile slipped off of his young face and he said something to Morgana, pointing across the street at Merlin. Merlin quickly looked away, though he could hear his heart pounding in his ears. Did Mordred recognize him? Was he devising a plan with Morgana to get rid of him? Would he attack here, in daylight? 

Morgana turned her head and met Merlin’s gaze with a smile. She walked over, leading Mordred right to him. Merlin felt himself grow rigid as panic set in. He should strike out at them. He should end them. Now. Now! NOW! 

“Fancy seeing you here.” Morgana’s tone was light and playful, almost charming. “I almost didn’t expect to see you again after you ran out on me in the library.” She was almost teasing him, but not in a cruel way. 

Merlin cleared his throat and turned his attention fully to her. “Yeah, sorry.” He said, not sounding sorry at all. “I had places to be.” 

“Understandably.” Morgana smiled and for the first time Merlin realized how out of place she appeared dressed in casual, modern wear. He had hardly seen her outside of her sweeping gowns or dark dresses. She appeared just as comfortable, if not more so. “Merlin, was it?”    


“That’s me.” He offered her an uneasy smile before his gaze landed on Mordred. “And who is this?” 

“Oh, this is my foster brother.” Morgana introduced with a wave of her hand. “Mordred, this is a friend of mine.” 

Merlin almost started at the word ‘friend’. They weren’t friends. Could never be friends. Not after all she had done. He looked between them. “Foster siblings?” He questioned, surprised to hear that the two of them were related. 

“On my mother’s side.” Morgana explained. “My father can’t stand him.” She rolled her eyes. “Not that I can stand my father either.” She laughed a bit. 

“It’s nice to meet you.” Mordred smiled, offering up his hand for Merlin to shake. Merlin glanced between the boy’s hand to his face before politely shaking it with a nod. 

Morgana smiled as she looked between the two of them. “Actually, there’s going to be a party at my place tonight, if you want to come.” She offered. “It’ll mostly be some of my friends, plus new people I’ve met.” 

Merlin felt suspicious, eyeing Morgana nervously. “Why would you invite someone you barely know?” Was this a trap? A ploy to get him alone and defenseless? 

Morgana just shrugged. “It’s my girlfriend’s idea. She thinks it’s the perfect way to meet new people, which is why she suggested that I invite everyone I meet.”

“Am I invited?” Mordred asked.

“It’s a college party, Mordred. You are not in college.” 

“I’m almost eighteen!”

“But you aren’t yet.” Morgana pointed out. She turned her attention back to Merlin. “So, what do you say?” 

Merlin hesitated, thinking it over. “I’m in.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you wondering, yes Morgana's mother, Vivienne, is still alive in this.


	3. A Party

Later that night, Merlin was preparing himself for the first party he would be attending in at least fifty years. He usually tried to stay away from parties, especially after the invention of photographs. There was too much of a chance that a picture would be taken of him and someone would recognize him years down the line. However, this was an opportunity that he couldn’t afford to miss. 

Morgana had claimed that there would be other people in attendance, but Merlin wasn’t sure if he believed her. This could all be a trick, a ploy to get Merlin alone so that she could attack. But Merlin firmly believed that if presented with the opportunity, he could take her down. He’d had centuries of practice with his magic, was more powerful than anyone could even hope to comprehend. 

Then again, Morgana seemed genuine enough. There was a familiarity about her that reminded Merlin of the compassionate woman she once had been. But that could be a trick as well. Morgana had always been a master of manipulation, even if it had never fooled Merlin.

He sighed, looking himself over in the mirror. He looked alright, not as tired as he usually did. He didn’t feel quite so old. He grabbed everything that he would need before making his way out of the apartment and towards the address Morgana had given him. He took the bus, already coming up with plan after plan as to how to stop Morgana if she attempted to trick him. She must not actually believe that he would be foolish enough to believe that she had reverted to the kind, compassionate woman he had once known. She had something planned and Merlin had to be ready for it. 

Once he arrived, Merlin couldn’t help but to stare. The house Morgana had led him to was more like a mansion or a castle with how large it was. Merlin could hear faint music playing from inside. He steeled his nerves and made his way towards the front door, knocking a few times and standing up straight. 

He expected the door to slowly creek open on its own accord, expected a dark and mysterious hallway that smelled vaguely of mildew. He expected something dangerous and ominous. 

Instead, the door swung open and Morgana stood in the doorway, a smile on her face. “Merlin, you made it!” The hall was brightly illuminated and the music was much louder with the door open. “Come in, come in!” She beckoned him inside and Merlin found himself stepping through the door without realizing it. “I’ll introduce you to everyone.” She led him through the hall and into a wide open room with a large television and a huge stereo that was blasting music. Merlin realized with a shock that he recognized everyone in the room. 

“This is my sister, Morgause.” Morgana introduced, the blonde looking up and smiling warmly at him. Merlin wasn’t certain that he’d ever seen her smile so genuinely. 

Morgause was sitting on the arm of the couch, her legs spread wide with a drink in her hand. “How ya doin’?” She greeted, raising her drink in greeting. Merlin grew defensive, not wanting to feel trapped with the woman who had succeeded in turning Morgana to the dark side in the first place, but there was something wholly unfamiliar about her. She was more at ease, more relaxed, seemingly less angry at the world. There was a friendly air about her.

“And my girlfriend’s friend, Lancelot.” Morgana continued, leading Merin to a familiar figure in the corner of the room. Merlin felt his heart freeze inside of his chest as he stared at the former knight. Lancelot. His old friend. Possibly his closest friend outside of Arthur. He was here. He was alive. He was with these evil people. Why? Merlin couldn’t hear whatever Morgana was saying, too caught up in his own thoughts. Lancelot just smiled charmingly at him. 

“Hi.” Lancelot greeted, offering his hand for Merlin to shake. “It’s nice to meet you.” Merlin hesitated before shaking Lancelot’s hand, returning the sentiment out of a sense of politeness. 

Morgana steered him away from Lancelot and towards the final figure in the room. “And this is my wonderful girlfriend, Guinevere.” 

“Most people just call me Gwen.” The woman said with a smile. Merlin couldn’t help but to stare openly at her. Gwen. Guinevere. His queen. The woman who loved Arthur just as much as Merlin himself did. She had been such a just and fair queen, arguably an even better ruler than Arthur before her. It was she who legalized magic in Camelot, she who offered part of her lands to the druids, she who united the lands. Her death marked a period of mourning the likes of which had never been seen before throughout Camelot. 

And here she was. Alive and well. Smiling at him. 

“I’m sorry, did you say girlfriend?” Merlin asked, turning towards Morgana. Girlfriend meant lover, the last time Merlin checked. That couldn’t be right. He must have misheard. 

Morgana quirked up an eyebrow. “I did.” She confirmed. “Do you have a problem with that?” 

This was wrong. This was all wrong. Gwen’s soulmate was  _ Arthur.  _ Not Morgana. What had Morgana done to trick Gwen into being with her? Merlin opened his mouth to say  _ yes. Yes he did have a problem with it,  _ but then he realized that all eyes were on him and how it would sound if he said that aloud.

“No.” He said quickly. “No problem with it.” 

“Good.” Morgana straightened up. “Because I’m pretty sure everyone in this room is queer besides you. If you don’t like that, there’s the door.” She pointed down the hall. 

Merlin shook his head quickly. “Not a problem. I was just...surprised.” He tried to explain. 

“Surprised?” Morgana laughed. “Well, you’re obviously not queer if you couldn’t read the big lesbian energy I give off.” She smiled sweetly. “Anyway. Relax. Take a load off. Enjoy the party.” She patted him on the back. “I think we have at least one more guest who agreed to come, right, Gwen?” 

Gwen nodded. “She said she’d be here.” She confirmed. The doorbell rang. “That must be her now!” She went to answer the door. “Hi! Freya, come on in.” 


	4. Old Friends

Freya. Freya.  _ Freya.  _ Freya was here too? She was alive? Merlin hadn’t seen her in so long. Was she still the gentle, sweet young girl he had last seen? Or had she changed, like Morgause? Was she under some kind of enchantment so she would side with Morgana? A million thoughts ran through Merlin’s head and he barely had time to prepare himself before Gwen was reentering the room with Freya in tow. 

Freya appeared more put together than when she had been alive. She wore an oversized sweater that seemed about to swallow her whole. She looked quite anxious and uneasy, fiddling with the sleeves of her sweater anxiously as gwen introduced her to everyone in the room. 

“Hi.” She said softly, not meeting anyone’s gaze and sticking close to Gwen, with whom she seemed to feel the most comfortable. She flinched whenever the music grew especially loud and Merlin’s heart went out to her. She had clearly been hurt before despite the change of times. She was still very much herself from what Merlin could tell. He wanted to gather her into his arms and hold her. She deserved to know she was safe. 

Gwen led her to the couch where she took a seat with a grateful smile. Merlin couldn’t help but to watch her before realizing that he was probably coming off as a creep. He quickly looked away only for his gaze to land on Morgana. 

“Can I get you a drink?” Morgana offered. “We have various local beers. I’ll let you know if there’s something we don’t have.” 

Merlin was skeptical about accepting anything from Morgana, so he just shook his head. “Water’s fine.” He said after a moment, not planning on actually drinking any of it. 

“Coming right up.” Morgana smiled and disappeared down the hall and towards the kitchen. Merlin made his way to the couch and slowly sat down beside Freya, who tried to make herself appear as small as possible. 

“Hi.” Merlin said softly. “I’m Merlin.” He introduced. 

“Yeah. That’s what Gwen said.” Freya murmured, tucking a strand of her dark hair behind her ear. “It’s nice to meet you.” She said politely. 

Merlin smiled, wanting nothing more than to embrace the girl. “So, uh, do you go to the college?” He asked, wanting to keep up a pleasant conversation with her. 

She nodded slowly. “Yeah. I’m majoring in social work.” She explained, her eyes lighting up at the mention of it. “I want to help people.” 

“That’s really admirable.” Merlin said with a smile. “I think you’d be a great social worker.” He told her honestly. 

“You do?” She looked surprised. “What makes you say that?” 

“Well, you’re so kind and compassionate.” Merlin looked into her eyes. “And you genuinely care about people.” 

Freya blushed, ducking her head shyly. “You barely know me.” 

“Well, I-” Merlin was stumped as to how to answer that. In Freya’s eyes, they had only just met, but Merlin knew Freya. He knew what a wonderful person she was. He remembered just how much he had loved her. 

Fortunately, he was saved from having to answer by the front door bursting open. He turned to look and his eyes widened when he saw who was stepping through the door.    


“Sorry we’re late!” Gwaine announced, flanked by none other than Will. “We didn’t receive an invitation.” He shot a playful glare at Morgana when she came out of the kitchen. 

“There was a reason for that.” Morgana hissed. “Get out.” 

“You wouldn’t turn away two hungry guests, would you?” Will asked, placing a hand to his chest in mock pain. “Come on, Morgana. We’re just here for a little fun.” 

Morgana shook her head. “The last time the two of you were here for some ‘fun’, you broke my best vase!” 

“That was Gwaine’s fault!” Will pointed an accusing finger at the other man. 

“Hey!” Gwaine swatted at Will. “That is untrue.” 

“Is not.” 

“Is too!” 

As the two of them continued to bicker, Merlin stared openly at them. Gwaine. Will. Will, the best friend he’d ever had before arriving at Camelot. Well, more than a best friend, really. And Gwaine, his strength, Merlin’s best friend after meeting him. He could hardly believe it. 

Morgana eventually agreed to let the two of them stay provided that they shut up and not break anything. The men eagerly agreed. Gwaine plopped down on the couch beside Merlin with a grin. 

“Hello, handsome.” He greeted with a wink. “Name’s Gwaine.” 

“Oi!” Will smacked him upside the head. 

“Ow! What was that for?” 

“What have we said about flirting?” 

“Sorry, old habits.” Gwaine smiled apologetically. “I’m a taken man now, you see. I’m not allowed to flirt with every pretty face I see.” 

“Taken?” Merlin blinked stupidly at Gwaine. “By who?” 

Will rose his hand in the air. “By yours truly.” He bent over the back of the couch to press a kiss to Gwaine’s lips, leaving Merlin in stunned silence. 

Gwaine rested a hand against the back of Will’s head, deepening the kiss and pulling him closer. Morgana marched over and broke the two of them apart. “I swear, if the two of you try to fuck on my couch, I’ll kill you.” 

“You make it sound like you’ve never fucked on this couch.” Gwaine rolled his eyes before winking at Gwen, who just blushed and looked away. 

Will laughed and squeezed Gwaine’s shoulders from where he stood behind the couch. “Relax, Morgana. We’re not gonna do anything while you’re watching. Unlike  _ someone,  _ I’m not an exhibitionist.” He shot a pointed look at Gwaine. 

“I did not need to know about your kinks.” Morgana muttered with a shake of her head. 

Gwaine laughed. “Hey, that one wasn’t my fault.” He pointed out, but Morgana just rolled her eyes and told him to behave. 

Merlin sunk into the couch and watched the people around him, unable to believe what was going on. 


	5. The Night

The party went by without anything too eventful coming to pass. Everyone got increasingly drunk except for Freya, who politely abstained from drinking, and Merlin, who did the same. Merlin mostly watched Gwaine and Will grow progressively more handsy with one another until Will’s shirt was thrown in a corner somewhere while he sat in Gwaine’s lap, the two of them tongue-fucking each other’s mouths with wild abandon. 

Merlin spent the night talking with Freya, learning her new history and interests. He learned that she was still from a small town by a lake, learned that she enjoyed pressing flowers and swimming. He learned that she was asexual and biromantic. Merlin hadn’t kept up with all the new terms for sexualities and genders, so she patiently explained them to him. Merlin figured that the term ‘bisexual’ still fit for him, as it had since he’d first learned of the term. Gwaine had helpfully butted into their conversation to inform the both of them that he was pansexual and polyamorous, though he was in a monogamous relationship with Will due to Will’s own monogamy. Merlin didn’t fully understand all of that, but he was glad that his friends were happy. 

Though, he would be lying if he claimed not to feel a bit jealous when he saw Gwaine and Will together. Will had been his first love, his everything. It had been Merlin who called things off between them shortly before his move to Camelot, but he still missed him and wondered if breaking things off was truly the right move, especially after Will’s death. Gwaine and Merlin had fooled around, but it was never anything serious, at least not romantically. Gwaine and Merlin’s friendship was too strong to be changed by something as simple as sex. They were Strength and Magic, they were bound together through thick and thin. He’d heard some people claim that Gwaine felt differently towards Merlin than Merlin did towards him, heard claims that the way Gwaine looked at Merlin was not dissimilar to the way Merlin stared after Arthur. Merlin sometimes wondered about how things might have been had he allowed himself to fall in love with Gwaine, but it wasn’t worth dwelling on. 

Gwaine had eventually moved on, had gotten with Percival despite whatever feelings he’d had for Merlin. And now he was with Will, with no memory of who Merlin even was. Gwaine was happy, as was Will. Everyone seemed perfectly happy without Merlin in their lives. 

Morgana groaned from where she was leaning against a wall, looking at her phone. “Alright, who told my idiot brother that I was having a party?” She demanded, looking across the room. Her glare landed on Gwaine and she pointed an accusing finger at him. “Was it you?” 

“Don’t look at me!” Gwaine put his hands up, still with a lapful of his boyfriend. “I know you don’t want him at these things.” He wrapped his arms around Will’s middle. “Wasn’t me.” 

Lancelot shook his head as soon as Morgana whirled around to him, almost as though he was expecting her to accuse him. “My lips were sealed.” He insisted.

“I may have mentioned it.” Gwen spoke up, fiddling with her fingers. “I didn’t think he would bother you about it. I really didn’t.” She sighed. “I told him he wasn’t invited.” 

Morgana groaned. “Gwen, if you tell him about a party, he’ll always bug me to be allowed to come. You know this.” She moved closer to her girlfriend and wrapped her arms around her. “I know you mean well and it’s just because you have such a kind heart, but you need to not tell him next time.” 

“Well, what’s done is done.” Gwen reasoned. “Why don’t you invite him? Just this once?”

Morgana huffed and released Gwen just to cross her arms. She looked Gwen up and down. “You really want him to come?” When the woman nodded, Morgana threw her arms in the air. “Fine. I guess he can come to this one party.” 

Merlin was listening in on this entire conversation. “Wait,you have a brother?” He questioned. “You mean Mordred?” 

Morgana shook her head. “No. At least Mordred knows when to stop asking when he’s told no. This is my half-brother on my father’s side. I rarely see him, but he exists.” 

Merlin felt his heart hammer inside of his chest. “Who is he?” 

“His name is Arthur.” 


	6. The Once and Future Prat

Arthur.  _ Arthur.  _ Arthur was here. Arthur was back. How had Merlin missed him? He could hardly believe it. He stared at Morgana, his mouth slightly agape. Arthur was coming. He would finally see him again after all these centuries. He felt as though he might cry, but he quickly fought that urge. Instead, he cleared his throat and looked away. “Arthur, huh?” He tried to sound normal, tried to fight past the wave of excitement that bubbled up within him. 

“Yup.” If Morgana noticed that anything was different about Merlin, she didn’t comment on it. “He said he’ll be here in ten. He’s picking up his own drinks because he apparently doesn’t like my taste in beer.” She scoffed. 

“What an arse.” Morgause chimed in with a shake of her head. “I never did like him.” It was at this point that Merlin noticed that Morgause had rolled a joint and was currently smoking it. Merlin had gotten so caught up in the excitement of having Arthur back that he hadn’t even noticed. When she caught Merlin watching her, she smiled. “Want a drag?” She offered, extending the joint towards him. 

Merlin quickly shook his head. “No thank you.” He didn’t smoke, didn’t enjoy feeling like his lungs were burning on each inhale. It felt gross and wrong. 

“Suit yourself.” Morgause shrugged and took a drag of her own, blowing out the smoke with her head resting back against the armchair she was sitting in. 

The next ten minutes were the longest in Merlin’s life. Time ticked by agonizingly slowly and Merlin’s leg began to bounce impatiently. He had waited hundreds of years for Arthur, but these ten minutes were the worst of it all. 

There was no knock on the door. There was no chime of a doorbell. There was just the sound of the door slamming open and then he was there. Arthur. He looked years younger than when Merlin had last seen him, perhaps it was due to the lack of the kingdom’s fate looming over him, perhaps he had just come back looking younger. Either way, it was undeniably  _ Arthur.  _ His blond hair remained in the same haircut that he’d sported for the eight years Merlin had known him. He wore more casual, more modern clothing, but he still wore that charming grin that Merlin had missed so desperately. He carried a six-pack of beer in one hand, kicking the door shut with his foot. 

“Now that I’m here, the party can really get started.” He said with his grin only growing. Merlin couldn’t help but to stare at him, feeling his eyes well up with tears. 

“Arthur.” He breathed, running up to the other man and engulfing him in a hug. 

Arthur stumbled back, nearly dropping the cans of beer he was holding. He pushed Merlin away slightly, a quizzical expression on his face. “Do I know you?” 

There it was. The phrase that sent Merlin’s head spinning. There was no recognition in those blue eyes. They didn’t light up at the sight of Merlin, his name didn’t come forth from those lips, there was nothing. Merlin hadn’t even paused to consider that Arthur would be like everyone else: Devoid of any memory from the past. Merlin had been so certain that Arthur would be different, that  _ he _ would remember. Merlin couldn’t fight it back any longer and he began to sob. He buried his face in his hands and cried, weeping at the thought of Arthur not remembering him. 

Arthur took a few steps back. “Whoa. What’s the matter with him?” He glanced at Morgana for clarity. 

Morgana just shrugged. “He’s probably just had a few too many.” She suggested. Merlin didn’t even bother to correct her. “Come on, let’s get you back to the couch.” She took Merlin’s arm and led him to the couch, where she gently set him down. She awkwardly patted him on the shoulder until Gwen came over to relieve her of comforting duties.

“What’s the matter?” Gwen asked gently, looking at Merlin with concern. “Are you alright?” 

Merlin sniffled, trying to get himself under control. “I’ll be fine.” He insisted, wiping his eyes repeatedly and willing himself to stop crying. “I don’t know what came over me. I’m sorry.” He forced a shaky smile in Gwen’s direction. 

“I think someone should take you home.” Gwen suggested, rubbing Merlin’s back gently. “Here, you can have my number if you need me.” She took Merlin’s phone and put in her number. “I’ll take you home.” 

“No, you shouldn’t have to leave the party.” Lancelot interrupted, walking forward. “I can take him. I’ve only had one drink.” He smiled reassuringly at Gwen. “You stay here.” 

“Are you certain?” Gwen asked, looking unsure. When she was met with Lancelot’s nod, she sighed. “Well, alright.” She handed Merlin off to Lancelot, stepping away and returning to Morgana’s side. 

As Merlin was escorted out, he cast one last glance back at Arthur, who was cheerfully chatting with Gwaine. He was happy. Maybe he didn’t need Merlin after all. 


	7. True Love's Kiss

Merlin remained silent as Lancelot loaded him into his car before hopping into the driver’s seat. He fought past the urge to continue crying over Arthur. Arthur wasn’t worth his tears, he wasn’t. He was just the same arrogant prat he had always been. Only he didn’t remember Merlin. 

He should have seen this coming. He should have realized when everyone else returned with no memory that there was a chance of Arthur sharing the same fate. Still. There had to be a way to make him remember. There had to be. 

“So, where do you live?” Lancelot asked, looking over at Merlin, who he had buckled into the passenger seat. When Merlin told him, he began the drive to Merlin’s apartment. The two of them sat in silence, Merlin staring out of the window and watching the buildings pass by. He’d never felt so alone before in his life, not even after he had left his friends behind. He sighed heavily, wishing that Gaius was there. Gaius would know what to do. He always did. 

Lancelot pulled up to Merlin’s apartment and led him up the stairs to his flat despite Merlin insisting that he didn’t need any help. Lancelot was just too kind and noble for his own good. He’d never turn his back on someone even theoretically in need. 

Once they made their way inside, Merlin sat himself down on his couch with a heavy sigh. Lancelot didn’t move to leave. Merlin looked at him. “Oh, uh, have a seat.” He offered. 

“Thank you.” Lancelot did as he was told, sitting next to Merlin. They sat in silence for a long moment. “You really care about Arthur, don’t you?” 

Merlin tensed. “What do you mean?” 

“When he came in, you practically leapt out of your seat to greet him. And you cried when he didn’t recognize you.” Lancelot pointed out. “It’s almost as though you knew him.” 

Merlin just shrugged, not wanting to get into the truth of the matter. No one could possibly understand. 

“I get it, you know.” Lancelot said. “I understand what it’s like to care for someone who barely notices you exist.” 

“You do?” Merlin blinked in surprise, wondering who Lancelot was talking about. 

Lancelot simply nodded. “I do.” He confirmed. “I love her.” He announced. “More than anything, but she’s taken. She sees me as a friend, nothing more.” He smiled sadly. “And I’m happy for her. I really am.” He swallowed. “She deserves to be happy.” 

Merlin frowned. “But you hurt too.” He suggested. “You hurt because she’s right there and you can’t have her.” He thought he might know how Lancelot felt. 

Lancelot nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, it hurts. But I wouldn’t change anything.” He admitted. “Even if I could. She’s happy and that’s the most important thing. Even if I can’t be with her.” 

Merlin nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I understand that.” He thought of Arthur, of Arthur and Gwen, of how happy Merlin had been at their wedding despite how much it had hurt. They loved each other and that was the most important thing. “Wait. That’s it!” Merlin bolted off of the couch. “Gwen! She’s the answer! True love’s kiss can solve anything!” He insisted. “If I can get Gwen to kiss Arthur, then he’ll remember again!” 

Lancelot’s expression was one of utter bewilderment. “What?” He shook his head. “Arthur and Gwen? They’d never-”

“They have to!” Merlin looked at the former knight with something wild in his eyes. “Don’t you see? All I have to do is get them to kiss and then they’ll both remember.” He was grinning wildly. “I can fix this.” 

“Whoa, slow down there.” Lancelot put his hands on Merlin’s shoulders and pushed him back into the couch. “Gwen is taken and Arthur...well…” He trailed off. “That isn’t for me to tell you, but let’s just say that Gwen isn’t his type.” 

Merlin shook his head. He’d latched onto this idea and he wasn’t letting go anytime soon. “You don’t understand. I know you care about her, but she belongs with Arthur. You have to know that.” 

“Why don’t you get some sleep and we’ll talk about it in the morning?” Lancelot suggested, clearly just trying to placate Merlin. 

Merlin huffed, but agreed, knowing that this was something that couldn’t be rushed into. He’d have to play his cards right if he wanted Arthur and Gwen to kiss. He’d have to make them both see the chemistry that existed between them. He could do this. He just needed the right opportunity. 


	8. Aithusa

The next day, Merlin awoke and shooed Lancelot out of his apartment with assurances that he was  _ fine.  _ Lancelot wasn’t convinced, having brought Merlin a glass of water and pain pills for his assumed hangover. Of course, Merlin wasn’t hungover, for he hadn’t been drunk in the first place. He just needed Lancelot out so that he could make his plan of attack as it concerned Arthur and Guinevere. 

After much hassle, Lancelot finally agreed to leave Merlin alone, leaving his number with him just in case he needed it. Once he was finally gone, Merlin took a seat on his couch and pulled out a sheet of paper, trying to think up a good plan. He could force Arthur to stop breathing, causing Gwen to give him CPR, but he wasn’t sure if that qualified as a kiss. No, he would have to set the two of them up romantically. 

He wrote down plan after plan, idea after idea. From sending Gwen flowers and claiming they were from Arthur to locking them in a room together until they kissed. That last one was pretty inappropriate and would probably get Merlin locked up somewhere for his troubles. The problem was that none of his ideas seemed good enough. None of them guaranteed a kiss. Some of them just guaranteed Merlin’s arrest. 

He sighed, putting his head in his hands. Why was none of this good enough? He just needed them to kiss. It couldn’t be that hard, could it? He supposed that he would have to spend more time with  _ this  _ Arthur and Gwen to see how they interacted with one another and how they got along. They weren’t the same as the people he knew and they would behave differently. He just had to figure out who the perfect man for Gwen was and turn Arthur into that. Merlin knew that Gwen wouldn’t fall in love with the pompous, arrogant man that Arthur was when Merlin had first met him. He needed to learn humility first. Merlin could help with that. 

Merlin was about to text Gwen - thankful that she had given him her number - when the alarm on his phone began to ring. He checked the time and realized with a start that it was Sunday. Feeding time. He sighed. Gwen and Arthur would have to wait. 

He stood and quickly collected the frozen meat he stored in the freezer, making his way out of the apartment and towards his destination. He made his way through the London Underground, sneaking onto the track and down several tunnels. Eventually, he reached a dead end. A wall with no tracks leading to or away from it.

Merlin muttered a few words and his eyes glowed gold before the wall melted away to reveal another tunnel. He followed it, the wall closing up again behind him. He muttered an incantation and a ball of light flickered to life in his palm, illuminating the way forward. He eventually found his way to where he was going, a smile on his lips. 

“Hello, Aithusa.” He greeted, looking up at the large, white dragon. The dragon was given room, but not much of it. The poor creature couldn’t even stand at full height despite his small stature for a dragon. Merlin approached and patted Aithusa, who nuzzled Merlin’s hand appreciatively. “I know you don’t like it down here, but it’s the only way we can keep you out of trouble.” Merlin informed the dragon. “If anyone saw you, they’d kill you.” As much as it pained Merlin, it was the truth. Aithusa was better off being locked away and out of sight. 

“I have been imprisoned before, Merlin.” The dragon spoke, his voice high and soft, so much different than Kilgarrah’s. “It seems that captivity is my destiny.” 

Merlin shook his head firmly. “Not forever.” He promised, knowing of how Aithusa had been trapped with Morgana for two years under Sarrum’s influence. “This won’t last forever. It’s just until-” He was prepared to say ‘until Arthur returns’, as he usually did, but he paused. Arthur  _ had  _ returned. He just wasn’t the same Arthur. 

“Until when, Merlin?” Aithusa cocked his head at the warlock. “When will I be able to see the sky again?” 

“Just until it’s safe.” Merlin finished. “Just until I know you won’t be killed.” 

Aithusa let out a heavy sigh, resting his head upon his front legs. “It’s been years, Merlin.” He cried mournfully. “I can’t remember what the night air tasted like. I can’t remember how it feels to stretch my wings and take flight. I can hardly remember what the outside world is like at all anymore.” There was no bitterness in his voice, only sorrow. It caused Merlin’s heart to break. 

“I know.” Merlin sighed. “I know and I promise that I’ll get you out of here eventually.” He assured him. “You will see the outside world again.” 

“I am growing old, Merlin.” Aithusa spoke softly, a great many years in his voice. “I fear that my time may be nearly upon me.” 

“No.” Merlin shook his head. “Don’t say that. Don’t.” He felt tears threaten to well up in his eyes. “I need you.” What would Merlin do without Aithusa? Aithusa was the last thread he had tying him to the way things used to be. Merlin had already lost everyone else. He couldn’t lose Aithusa too. 

“Everything dies, Merlin.” Aithusa said gently. “It is nothing to be sad about.” 

“Everything dies but me.” Merlin shook his head, wiping his eyes with his free hand. “When you’re gone, I’ll still be here. I’ll be all alone.” 

“You are never alone, Merlin.” The dragon assured him. “You carry those you have lost with you.” 

Merlin shook his head violently. “It’s not the same. It’s not.” He insisted. “You know it’s not the same.” 

“I know.” Aithusa agreed. “But for now, I am here.” He assured him. “I am not planning on leaving you before my time. For I need you as much as you need me.” It was true. Aithusa too, had lost everything that he loved, mostly at Merlin’s hand.

Merlin sighed and nodded. “Just..don’t go dying on me too soon.” He patted Aithusa’s head gently before pulling out the meat he had prepared for him. “Here. Food.” He fed the dragon, smiling gently at him. When he had lost all else, at least he had this one tether to the past. This one, last friend. 


End file.
